Too many of my clients are too worried about the “uncontrollables” in their life. These “uncontrollables” are aspects of their external world that they attempt to control or manage, and actively believe that they can exert control over. When they are in this space, they tend to focus on: What people think about them “Making everyone happy” Finding the “perfect” way to do something  “Preparing for every possible scenario”  Waiting “for the right time” So on and so forth   This then leads to:  Spending excessive time preparing for things that are never used, not important, or arbitrary Starting projects and not finishing them Burning themselves out trying to spend more time on their tasks than is logically available in their day, trying to “do it all” Feeling unappreciated when others don’t notice how much time and energy they have spent in something Struggling to set boundaries within themselves and with others Feeling affected by someone’s dislike of their work Continuing to tweak projects endlessly -OR- Conversely, not doing anything at all!   These are just some of the many ways that people pleasing x perfectionism can show up in someone’s life.  People often engage in these behaviors in an effort to make things “perfect” before they let others see, analyze, and have the opportunity to reject their work. It also protects them from the rejection they do of themselves; when they are holding themselves up to rigid or unrealistic expectations, they are being harshly critical of (and often unintentionally unkind to) themselves. These are fairly fear-based ways to set personal expectations of oneself.  The irony? Nothing happens to their goals! They spent so much time on the uncontrollables, that they forgot to master their efficiency in the things they CAN control. In doing so, the gap between themselves and their goals increases, because they have put time and distance between themselves and their goals with this waiting game.  And this is if they even have set and measurable goals for their progress. Honestly, most of my perfectionists and people pleasers do not. If they do have goals, they are often unattainable, unreasonable, and self-sabotaging. Most believe that perfect project execution is the goal, other people being proud of them is the goal, being seen as competent and unfailing in every task is the goal, and doing great (no, wonderful!) work at all times is the ultimate goal.   Ah! When people approach loose and unmeasurable goals this way, it begs so many more questions than it can possibly answer. How would one measure this? How would one measure success? Failure? If one person doesn’t like it, then are you (as a person) a complete failure, or just your project (and is that a complete failure or a partial failure)? What if your boss, Sally, is just mean and will never be proud of you – will you then never be “good enough”? What if the CEO has expectations that defy the logic of the time-space continuum and what human people are capable of doing – are you still a failure if you cannot meet such toxic and unreasonable demands?  This keeps my clients in a feedback loop of rumination, stress, and constant questioning of their worthiness and inherent worth as a person. When really, what we want to do is evaluate the completion on a discrete task, project, or goal. One is about a person, the other is about a task. These are very different things.  But what if they worked toward their goal with (a) measurable and operationalized metrics, and (b) a steady, reasonable, and pragmatic pace in mind? What would change? Let’s start with what’s considered “reasonable.” As a starting point, let’s consider a goal of making 1% progress every day on a specific task/goal, and let’s assume you are currently at a baseline of 0% on this task/goal. One percent doesn’t seem like a lot, does it? If we only made 1% progress expected every day on a task or goal, in 30 days they are 30% closer! Even if our execution was not perfect, we would still be ⅓ of the way closer to goal completion by the end of 30 days (on whatever it is we are working on). In 3.5 months, we would be fully completing this goal. (This is, obviously, extremely hypothetical and not applicable to all situations). However, that’s a pretty big gain on a goal, and not likely reflective of the high level of growth that we likely can expect in most circumstances. A lot of this has to do with sustainability (e.g., do you actually have the time each day to do what it would demand to complete 1% of a project/goal every day?) as well as growth incubation periods that exist with many goals (e.g., growing muscle in a fitness program, growing your financial portfolios, or even in things like significantly increasing your networking relationships takes time to address that can’t be bypassed). (Isn’t that crazy, that we have to think even smaller, in order to make bigger, sustainable goals STICK?!).  For some people, they can only get 0.1% closer each day; that’s totally okay, too! In fact, in many instances, this might even be advisable to think about it this way. In this scenario, In 10 days, they are 1% closer to their goal. In 10 weeks, they are 10% closer. And in 10 months, they can be 40% closer! That’s 40 percent closer to their goal in ten months!! What if someone is really, really strapped for time and effort. What if they only can work toward 0.05% closer to their goal each day? That’s still:  0.5% closer in 10 days, 5% closer in 5 weeks, and 20% closer in 10 months!  It’s kind of crazy to think about it this way, but some goals benefit from this strategy. For example, take long-term goals, such as retirement. With our retirement funds, we do exactly this. If you are planning a retirement fund in the multi-millions, chances are you are saving <0.0001% per day.  For