It’s a genuinely hard truth, but my lovely people pleasing high achievers need to hear this one:
You can’t people please your way out of people pleasing.
You have to choose:
Yourself.
Your dreams.
Doing things that feel good.
Spaces that feel life-giving.
People that willingly honor you.
Jobs that respect you.
There is no other way out.
Love my high achieving people pleasers, but they genuinely believe that if they could just find the “silver bullet” strategy, the people pleasing will all be worth it and their life will finally settle down and feel good.
The reality is, the only winning strategy for them is a trifecta approach: putting their needs first; honoring their dreams, goals, and self-worth; and holding incredibly strong boundaries.
Most people take issue with the first part – putting their needs first.
But the truth is, people and situations that want to honor and partner with you, won’t need you to debase your own needs for them to be okay.
They will encourage and support you in meeting your own needs.
They will make sure to take care of their own needs, as well.
Most of my high achieving people pleasers also struggle with boundaries; they take the approach of, “I know I need stronger boundaries, but that would be hard, so what can you do?”
Boundaries aren’t hard, despite what mainstream beliefs are about them.
And they are actually the way you get what you want incredibly quickly.
Bonus: They also protect your beautiful dreams and goals, as well as your invaluable self-worth.
Herein lies the key to the harmony people pleasers are seeking.
Choosing situations and people that honor them, and honoring themselves first.
It’s not magic, rocket science, or unattainable.
It’s at your fingertips, now.
And in case no one has told you yet today, you deserve that peace and harmony.
You deserve a life you are absolutely obsessed with, and that is obsessed with you back.
Now get out there and go live your dream life!
(And if you need any help, we are always here for you).
-Dr. H